Connections & sociology
Your Best Mates Won't Get You Hired (And Who Actually Will)
If you're hunting for a new gig, your first instinct is usually to tap your inner circle. Here is why that often doesn't work, and who is more likely to hold the key to your next opportunity.
If you're hunting for a new gig or trying to get a side business off the ground, your first instinct is usually to tap your inner circle. You ask your close friends, your family, your current coworkers.
And usually, nothing happens.
It's not because they don't want to help. It's because you all share the same exact network. You already know the same people and the same opportunities.
The strength of weak ties
Back in 1973, a sociologist named Mark Granovetter wrote a famous paper called "The Strength of Weak Ties." In his sample of professional, technical and managerial workers near Boston who had found their job through someone they knew, only 16.7% saw that person often. Most saw them occasionally (55.6%) or rarely (27.8%). Acquaintances move in different circles from you, so they hear about things you don't.
That was 54 people in one American suburb. In 2022, a study of more than 20 million LinkedIn members put the idea to a much bigger test. LinkedIn had randomly varied which connections its "People You May Know" feature suggested, and the weaker ties did lead to more job moves — up to a point. Moderately weak ties helped most; the very weakest helped less; and in less digital industries, strong ties did better (Rajkumar and colleagues, 2022).
The person who hands you your next big opportunity often isn't your best mate. It's the designer you spoke to for ten minutes at a coffee shop. It's the founder you met at a hackerspace three months ago.
The problem with "weak ties" is right there in the name: they are weak. You don't see them enough to naturally remember the details of their lives. When you bump into them again, the connection usually fizzles out because you spend the whole conversation secretly trying to remember their name and what they actually do.
Bridging the gap
Treating these people like leads in a traditional CRM feels gross and sales-y. But relying on your already-overloaded brain to remember the context of a conversation from six months ago—like how they're converting a 2011 Toyota HiAce Commuter van—is a recipe for a blank stare.
OldMate sits right in the middle. It's your memory for the people on the periphery.
Have the chat, walk to the car, and talk to your phone. OldMate keeps the name, the context, and the fact that they're a vegetarian who loves trail running. When you run into them again, find them by name, catch up, and let the weak tie do its work.
Sources
Each source was last checked on .
- Granovetter, M. S. (1973). The strength of weak ties. American Journal of Sociology, 78(6), 1360–1380. The job-change figures come from his study of a Boston suburb: 54 people who found work through a contact. "Often" meant at least twice a week; "occasionally", more than once a year; "rarely", once a year or less.
- Rajkumar, K., Saint-Jacques, G., Bojinov, I., Brynjolfsson, E. and Aral, S. (2022). A causal test of the strength of weak ties. Science, 377(6612), 1304–1310. LinkedIn's own experiments over five years. A job move counts only when someone later works where a connection already worked, as their profiles report it.