The OldMate journal
Worth a read.
Notes on memory, attention and keeping relationships human. New here? Start with what a personal CRM is, and whether you need one.
Relationships & tools
What a Personal CRM Is, and Whether You Need One
The idea in plain words, the four kinds of personal CRM and what each does better, one fictional coffee catch-up kept three ways, and an honest list of when you don’t need one.
Read the piece 8 min read
Templates & how-to
A Personal CRM Template You Can Copy (Apple Notes, Notion, Google Sheets)
Five lines that cover most people, as a note to copy and a row of columns, with the steps for Apple Notes, Notion and Google Sheets, and honest signs a template has stopped working.
Read the piece 7 min read
Memory & psychology
How to Remember Details About People You Meet
People recall about a tenth of a conversation five minutes later. What memory research says helps, turned into a four-step habit: notice, say it back, note it, look before you meet.
Read the piece 8 min read
Relationships & privacy
Is It Weird to Keep Notes on Your Friends?
The objections to a personal CRM for friends, from the people who raise them, and where the line between paying attention and keeping a file sits.
Read the piece 8 min read
Friendship & conversation
Questions to Ask a Friend You Haven’t Seen in a While
Most question lists would suit anyone. The best one starts with what your friend told you last time. A short method, grouped questions and what to skip.
Read the piece 6 min read
Work & habits
Remembering Client Details: A Note Habit for Freelancers and Consultants
When you work for yourself, nobody else keeps the file. A two-minute after-meeting routine, what’s worth noting about a client, and what’s better left out.
Read the piece 6 min read
Connections & networking
After a Networking Event: What to Write Down in the First Five Minutes
The five minutes after an event are when most of what you heard is still there to keep. A short checklist, what to skip, and three notes from one evening.
Read the piece 5 min read
Relationships & tools
Dex, Clay and Monica Alternatives: Which Personal CRM Fits If You Don’t Want Keep-in-Touch Reminders
A fair, dated comparison of Dex, Mesh (formerly Clay), Monica, Covve and OldMate for people who want to keep what was said without keep-in-touch reminders, including where each beats OldMate.
Read the piece 6 min read
Career & psychology
The 85% Rule: What the 1918 Study Actually Found
The famous 85% figure isn’t in the report it’s credited to. What thousands of engineers did say in 1916, and why remembering people still matters.
Read the piece 5 min read
Connections & sociology
Your Best Mates Won’t Get You Hired (And Who Actually Will)
Acquaintances open unexpected doors. A little remembered context helps those infrequent relationships feel human when paths cross again.
Read the piece 5 min read
Relationships & science
The Power of “Micro-Support”
Trust often grows through small acts: remembering the presentation, the puppy, or the difficult week and asking about it later.
Read the piece 4 min read
Memory & psychology
Why We Forget Names (It’s Not Your Fault)
Why names disappear so quickly, and why capturing context while it is still fresh gives memory something useful to hold onto.
Read the piece 5 min read
Relationships & tools
Ditch the Spreadsheet. Your Network Deserves Better.
Sales systems track pipelines. Relationship memory should help you keep the human detail without turning a conversation into admin.
Read the piece 6 min read
